High School Dating... My Experience

Hey Guys! I hope that your January has been as great as mine so far, I've gotten a lot of time to make goals, read some new books, and come up with some new blog ideas! One thing that I haven't really talked about is my High School dating experience (or lack there of). I think that it's different for everyone, but this is how I view it and how I dealt with it!

First off, a few disclaimers about my point of view. 1. I've never had an official boyfriend, though I have dated before (more details on that to come). 2. I have parents that never pushed or encouraged high school dating because their experiences didn't end in marriage... just a lot of wasted time as they put it. Although I know of multiple high school (and middle school) relationships that ended in marriage. And finally 3. my view of dating is pretty different then how couples do it on Tiktok... anyhoo here's my story.

My parents met in a pretty crazy way, through a friend of a friend, then over the phone, they were living in different countries at the time (both my parents are American, but my dad was currently living overseas), and by the time they met in person it was only about six months before they got married... not much dating there.

Me, I didn't even have my first "crush" until middle school, I didn't hold hands with a dude (praying during youth group doesn't count... yes I'm that home schooled) until 8th grade and even at that it was the least dramatic and romantic thing ever! Most of high school I was head over heals for a guy at my church, but after eight months of long distance texting (I had left Germany for Tampa by this time) he said we needed to just be friends. If you've read any of my sad and super sappy post-leaving Germany post you'd know that he was a big part of my life for a while... God obviously had different plans... and we never actually dated. Although I did think that I was in love with him, and he'll always be a part of my life, we've since stopped talking and are really only friends on Instagram... we love (not really) how fake social media can make relationships. 

It wasn't until the summer before my Senior year that I went on an official date. Like a guy-girl, out to dinner, the dude pays, and you aren't with your sibling to chaperone kind of date... :) It was a lot of fun but after a few dates I really realized that I didn't have the same feeling for him, and God was calling me to be so many things but a girlfriend wasn't one at the time.

That't basically the rundown of my love life, as of now (I'm basically done with my Senior year and high school career) I'm very content with where God has me. Now being 100% honest with you guys, there are for sure times that I miss having someone miss me or want to text me "good morning" every day. But when I take a good look at where I am in my life right this second I'm right where I need to be.

So if you asked me, "Savannah, do you think that I should date in high school?...", I'd say no. And here's why.

1. I TRULY BELIEVE that dating should be used to get to know someone that you might want to marry. "Yikes Savy... isn't that kinda a lot? Isn't dating just for the sake of having someone around okay?" And my though is, why would you potentially put yourself and the person that you might have feelings for through heartbreak if you know that it's not going to work out or last very long? I've had friend who will straight up tell me, "well yeah I wouldn't marry them, but it's fun to date them." It ended in heartbreak... and I firmly believe that one of the reasons that divorce is such a normalized thing, is because going through so many breakups in high school is super normal. I mean think about it, if you're so use to getting super close to someone, and then eventually move on when it doesn't work out isn't that what divorce is (just on a much smaller scale)? And granted, sometimes there are extremely un-healthy dating relationships that need to be ended, but a lot of the time dating is looked at as just a pass time not taking into account how it can emotionally hurt someone in the long run. That's why I believe waiting until you're older and can handle all that comes with adding someone else to your life is a good thing!

2. Society had tainted dating from something classy, to something that has no boundaries. While fleshly desires have always been a thing, way-back-when, dating was seen more as a way to get to know someone before marriage, they called it courting! I've been baffled at the amount of videos I've seen, just pranks and stuff, but of couples that live together while dating. Teenagers are being taught that as long as you're being "safe" testing the waters or full on diving in before marriage is normal. "How do you know if the person you're with is the right one for you if you don't live together?" I truly believe from what I've learned from my parents, and other godly couples, that waiting for marriage and moving in together when you get married is so worth it. There's no shame or regret of the past, no baggage from past relationships... the more you save for your marriage and future spouse the better! 

I heard it this way, "how far would you like your future husband or wife to go with someone before they marry you?"

The bible has such clear examples of why to wait for marriage... I'll list a few here: 1 Corinthians 6:18, Hebrews 13:4, Matthew 19:6, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Proverbs 18:22, Genesis 2:24.

3. God has a purpose, plan, and story for everyone. For some people their love story starts sooner or later then others, but what God's written for you is so much better then anything you could have come up with on your own. Don't rush or force His plan into a box, allow Him to guide you. Pray for the kind of spouse you want, make a list of hopes and plans that you have for them and the future. Me, I have a box of full of letter that I've written to my future husband that I'll give to him one day, that's just one of the ways that I look forward to the future!

Well, I hope that this has given you a few things to think about! So with all of this being said, maybe part of your story is meeting your spouse in high school, and I know that no everyone thinks the same way that I do, but this is my experience and thoughts on dating in high school! Let me know if what you out think, and if you have anything that you agree or disagree with!

But thanks again for hanging out with me, and if you've actually read through all of this... THANK YOU!!! You're the bomb, and you mean the world to me! Your friend, Sav :)